North Korea orders 2 billion dollars worth of Diet Coke and Mentos in preparation for missile launch

Embed from Getty ImagesChief Commander Hook San Jo points to where the next test launch will take place

Geneva, Switzerland - United Nations Secretary General Antonio Guterres announced today that North Korea had purchased 4 billion litres of Diet Coke and 20 billion packs of Mentos in preparation for their next missile launch.  With this purchase North Korea continues making progress towards nuclear launch capability.  Their previous missile test, which was said to be successful, was a Playskool x465 rocket.  Experts suggest this next launch could reach as far as South Korea.  

“This is no longer a rocket your toddler could play with. People outside of North Korea will have to start paying a little more attention”
-Secretary General Antonio Guterres 

“If you drop a pack of Mentos into a bottle of Diet Coke, you get this huge fountain of spray and Diet Coke foam coming out,” says Tonya Coffey, a physicist at Appalachian State University in Boone, North Carolina. “This was a good project for my students to study ...”

South Korean threat levels have been raised ever so slightly.  President of South Korea Moon Jae-in recommends South Koreans carry umbrellas when they walk near the demilitarized zone separating the two countries.

North Korean officials denied the allegations, insisting that their people are very thirsty and that everyone except Kim Jong Un has really bad breath.  

US Secretary of Foreign Affairs Rex Tillerson has condemned The Coca Cola Company for the sale to North Korea, saying “I can't believe that Coca-Cola would allow so much of its product to go to waste.  It's delicious.”  When asked if he was also upset at Perfetti Van Melle for its sale of Mentos he replied “meh.”

President Trump released this tweet “I assure you there's no amount of Diet Coke and Mentos coming for North Korea that can penetrate our missile defense system 😎 #USAUSA” 

Americans are beginning to wondering if there will ever be a time when North Korea can build a missile that could reach the United States.