Monday, July 31, 2017

Top Amateur Pole Dancer declares for the upcoming draft

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Mercedes Driveshaft competing in National Championship in Duluth

The Junky Trunks Gentlemen's Club, based in Detroit, is drooling at the chance of seeing Mercedes Driveshaft join their stage on the professional tour.  This years Lily award winner, pole dancing’s Heisman, which is given to NCAA’s most outstanding pole dancer in the United States, waited until the last day possible to officially declare for the upcoming draft.  The establishment currently holds the 1st Overall pick.

As a freshman born in Detroit, Michigan , Mercedes took the amateur pole dancing world by storm when she walked onto Michigan State’s pole dancing team. She led the Spartans in dances, pieces of clothing removed and led the league in scoring.  The Spartans went 26-0 on their way to their first national title.

When asked why she decided to declare Mercedes said, “It really came down to whether or not I wanted to wait around for the chance to compete in the Olympics in PyeongChang. But there’s talk that the Erotic Pole Dancers Players Association is making a push for an Olympic break.  There's a real chance this could happen in the upcoming collective bargaining agreement. Besides, this is a young women’s game and every year I stay amateur is another year closer to retirement.” 

Rex Burnham, her coach at Michigan State had this to say about her abilities, “She has just unbelievable, natural...talent. Watching her straddle that pole is an exhilarating experience; it’s impossible to contain your excitement. It’s a shame she won’t be competing for us anymore, but you can bet I’ll be there at her first dance for the Junky Trunks, wouldn’t miss it for the world.  I’ve already ordered seasons tickets.”

He’s not the only one buying tickets, seasons tickets sales have skyrocketed since the news broke.  Mercedes is already being hailed as the savior of this almost forgotten franchise. 
The Junky Trunks been hanging by a thread financially ever since Jessica Phalange, the franchise's all time leading scorer, hung up her heels at the age of 27 in 2014.

General Manager of the Junky Trunks, Johnson Rod, has been receiving calls all night with trade offers.  “I told one general manager earlier, “I have the best player in the league now bitch! Suck it!”  You just don’t get these kinds of generational talents very often.  We’re going to hold onto this one.”  Johnson has already reached out to Mercedes’ agent to begin negotiations.

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