Tom Brady signs deal with 29 NFL teams to stop playing football

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Tom Brady announces new contract signing at press conference in Foxborough

29 NFL teams and quarterback Tom Brady have agreed to a five-year contract that will keep the former New England Patriot from playing football in the NFL. Financial terms of the deal were not disclosed, however sources indicate the contract to be worth 200 million dollars averaging 40 million per year. When asked if the 29 teams were concerned about the length of the contract, Pittsburgh Steelers General Manager Kevin Colbert said “We wanted it longer, but Brady wanted to have the option to play again at 45.”

Taking Tom Brady away from the New England Patriots was the top priority for most of the other 29 General Managers in the league. “We looked at all of the free agent opportunities out there this year and this was the one that made the most sense”  said a dancing Brandon Beane, general manager of the Buffalo Bills.

The signing is expected to make even the the AFC East somewhat competitive.  Jets General Manager Mike Maccagnan was quoted as saying, “I’m tired of being blown out and embarrassed by the Patriots, I want our team to compete every night and lose by only a few points.”

Atlanta Falcons General Manager Thomas Dimitroff,  whose team is reportedly on the hook for 10 of the 200 million, most of all 29 teams,  said “We’re adding by subtracting.  Removing him from the Patriots makes every other team that much better.  I mean, wow, imagine us playing in the Super Bowl in Minneapolis in February against a team without Tom Brady.  We might even have a chance against those New England Patriots.”

2018 would have been Tom Brady’s 18th year in the league, during which his opponents have amassed a record of 52-183 against him during the regular season and a record of 9-25 during the playoffs. His opponents also sport a 2-5 record against him in the Super Bowl and have given up 456 touchdowns to him over that span.

Since the news broke Las Vegas has updated the Patriots odds of winning the super bowl to 2-1, a change from their previous odds of 1-1.